its 11 13. i wake up at 4 to do over 9 alg 2 hmwrks, a scrapbook, and 2 essays. i sulda been doin it all nite long but i havent even started and now im tired. so basically after school and photos and all that i went to baja fresh. took the food to go. went to shellys. talked. went to school. was suppose to go home but i didnt. instead i went to zeeyad's house. was there till 9 30. we had dinner, watched sponge bob, smoked...well he did...then we were in his room. we just laid there like lazy bums. then what happened? we kissed. and then he held me tight and said that he didnt ever wanna let me go. of course i melted when he said those words...but funny because just this morning i asked evan to have dinner with me on sat nite so he can meet my family and cause i love evan and want to spend time with him. the thing is....i dont want to juggle both of them. the thing is evan is good for me and zeeyad is bad for me. evan is my friend....if we breaK up itll be horrible and destroy our friend ship. and i dont want that. and it''s awkward cause i wuld never kiss evan. hes the fun happy love healthy free side. zeeyad is the lustful sweet cute make me feel safe side. i dont know what to do. here i am laying in bed, eating my cold baja fresh, about to go to bed and all i can do is....WANT ZEEYAD TO BE WITH ME RITE NOW WHILE AT THE SAME TIME MISSING EVAN. fuck.